Women today have it harder then ever before to look a certain way because of the media advertising that we should all be size twos. And after children the pressure is even more intense. Not only should we be looking like we did pre-pregnancy, but they expect us to do it in 2 weeks and look even better than before. Some women have fantastic genes and tiny frames naturally so its not hard for people like Nicole Richie to give birth and 2 weeks later look like she were never pregnant. We see celebrity moms on the cover of magazines just weeks after giving birth looking amazing but we forget that they are airbrushed and photoshopped. For the majority of women out there this is close to impossible.
No matter how much you exercise during and after pregnancy, no matter what products you may use to prevent stretch marks and no matter how many days you may wear that postpartum belt to help cinch your waist... there are just some thing genetics wont change. But dont get me wrong... that is not a bad thing. We as women... and now mothers should love our bodies even more. Knowing that it grew a human being and nurished another life. It makes us healthier lowering our risk or certain cancers. It truly is a badge of honor to have a "mother's body".
So when you look in the mirror and you see stretch marks, loose or sagging skin, breasts that were not as perky as before and some rounder areas on your body... know that its natural and that it IS beautiful. Even if you dont feel it just yet know that men do see it differently then we do. This is even more of a concern of single mothers. We tend to think...wow no men would ever want to see me naked or who would like this along with my kids... the question is who wouldnt?
The following were direct feedback from single mothers and any concerns they may have about body image and dating and if they have issues:
No, not at all and i have six kids. I've had men who worship my body and tell me they love every part of it and i've had a few men surprised by my body but it didn't stop them from loving it. Finding milk in my breast still was a shocker for a few but again it didn't stop them. The stretch marks, saggy belly they didn't mind. I've been with men who have less then perfect bodies and it didn't stop me. Love yourself, love your body and any good man will fall at your feet.-A
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I met my ex when I was 18, 120 pounds at the most, perky B-cups, slim hips and waist, just at my prime body-wise. I married him at 19, had three kids with him and he walked out when I was 30. I remember specifically thinking to myself that no one could possibly want a 30 something fat girl with three kids.
At almost 34 I went on my first date post-marriage. I'd been asked out before but it was never right - I wanted to wait for someone that mattered to me. I didn't want to date just to date. I didn't want men in and out of my children's lives. Anyway... I remember joking around with my best friend about how no man would ever see me naked again, how it wasn't fair because my ex had a hand in making my body what it was (three kids, three c-sections, stretch marks galore, 5'3" and 170something at my heaviest) and he left me feeling almost like damaged goods, body-wise.
But guess what? He did ask me out. I went out with him. And he's been the love of my life ever since. The weight came off (I'm now around 132) because of the stress of the divorce and the happiness of being in love with someone who also loves me, and he says he doesn't even see the stretch marks and c-section flab. He loves me. He loves every single inch of me. He loves the shapely hips and larger (and saggy!) breasts, he loves the soft skin, he loves the things that shape me like a woman. And to tell you the truth - the sex is 100 times better than anything that firm, tight, non-gravity stricken 19 year old could have ever even imagined!-M
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Know that you are not alone and that you should be proud of your new body weather or not you look like what you did before. Men who soley judge women based on their apperance are shallow, vain and dont even deserve to be looked at twice... but you already knew that.
Having said that here is a beautiful website on what isreallythe shape of a mother.www.TheShapeofaMother.com. Here is what the creator of the site had to say about why she created this site:
It is my dream, then, to create this website where women of all ages, shapes, sizes and nationalities can share images of their bodies so it will no longer be secret. So we can finally see what women really look like sans airbrushes and plastic surgery. I think it would be nothing short of amazing if a few of our hearts are healed, or if we begin to cherish our new bodies which have done so much for the human race. What if the next generation grows up knowing how normal our bodies are? How truly awesome would that be?
Take a look around, gain confidence, even share photos and stories to help other mamas out there. And remember, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING! DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU OR MAKE YOU FEEL OTHERWISE!
