Once again I have found a subject that has been floating around the internet or traveling down from generations with much misinformation. How to clean the intact penis. There is no need to EVER retract your sons penis, not even a little bit. This can cause major trauma and damage and may even lead to the need to circumcise your son. Dont take my word for it, read these articles for yourself.
http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az3.asp
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/11/raising-intact-sons.html
http://www.circumstitions.com/Care.html
http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/easy.htm
I also thought I would include some very helpful links for intact boys and how to NOT retract the foreskin and why:
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/11/forced-retraction-dont-let-it-happen-to.html
And the Intact Care Agreement to have on file at your child's pediatricians office:
http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/care.htm
Monday, October 4, 2010
Exciting News from WIC
Monday, September 13, 2010
Giving water to newborns
I am shocked at the misinformation there is out there about giving a baby a bottle of water. And to my surprise it come from way too many pediatricians. Experts agree that giving water to a baby is not necessary, may even be harmful, before the age of 6 months.
In your average, healthy baby, there is no need whatsoever to give them a bottle of water or sugar water. Ever. 88% of breast milk is water. Even milk made by formula is over 80% water. Even per the American Academy of Pediatrics says "supplements (water, glucose water, formula and other fluids) should not be given to breastfeeding newborn infants unless ordered by a physician when a medical indication exists... During the first 6 months of age, even in hot climates, water and juice are unnecessary for breastfeeding infants and my introduce contaminants and allergens. " The same thing applies to formula fed babies.
Kellymom has some excellent information on this as well here. Introducing water too early can actually cause jaundice or worsen those with existing jaundice, read about that here. When your baby is ill with vomiting and diarrhea and you are scared about them becoming dehydrated, its not the water you need to replace, its the electrolytes. You can re-hydrate using fluids like pedialyte and infalyte. Here is a good link for those preparing milk with formula. Make sure you are preparing the milk appropriately so as to not cause malnutrition.
After your child reaches 6 months old you still need to be cautious when introducing water. You can easily give your child too much and it can be dangerous or down right fatal. For more information click here about water intoxication in infants.
In your average, healthy baby, there is no need whatsoever to give them a bottle of water or sugar water. Ever. 88% of breast milk is water. Even milk made by formula is over 80% water. Even per the American Academy of Pediatrics says "supplements (water, glucose water, formula and other fluids) should not be given to breastfeeding newborn infants unless ordered by a physician when a medical indication exists... During the first 6 months of age, even in hot climates, water and juice are unnecessary for breastfeeding infants and my introduce contaminants and allergens. " The same thing applies to formula fed babies.
Kellymom has some excellent information on this as well here. Introducing water too early can actually cause jaundice or worsen those with existing jaundice, read about that here. When your baby is ill with vomiting and diarrhea and you are scared about them becoming dehydrated, its not the water you need to replace, its the electrolytes. You can re-hydrate using fluids like pedialyte and infalyte. Here is a good link for those preparing milk with formula. Make sure you are preparing the milk appropriately so as to not cause malnutrition.
After your child reaches 6 months old you still need to be cautious when introducing water. You can easily give your child too much and it can be dangerous or down right fatal. For more information click here about water intoxication in infants.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
"I LOVED MY C-SECTION!"
Ok, really? have we (society as a whole) really become that calloused? That statement was the statement I heard a mother tell another one that was in labor. As soon as she stated that two other mothers chimed in and agreed that they too loved their c-sections and wouldn't give birth any other way. Um, wow. Where do I begin with that one. While I am glad that everything turned out fine for them I have to remind you that a c-section is NOT the norm. It is a MAJOR abdominal surgery with associated risks. I do understand, as most women do, that sometimes a c-section IS necessary. But did you know that only 15% of c-sections done in the US are actually warranted?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Postpartum Disorders
I know I've touched on it on my previous post but I thought postpartum disorders were important enough to create its very own blog post.
"I'm OK. I know what I'm doing. I'm prepared. It won't happen to me. I don't
even have a history of any mental or emotional problems, so I'm good."
"Excuse me! I think there was a mix-up. This isn't what I signed up for. You see, I signed up for the smiling family, go ga-ga over your baby, feeling passion for life, super-parent gig. You know what I mean, the happy family stuff they show in all of those diaper and infant formula commercials and talk about in the pregnancy and infant books."
Guess what? It doesn't always work that way.
Important Notes
It is important to realize that just because you don't have every symptom on the list that you aren't suffering from a postpartum disorder. Some women may have just a few symptoms. Some, unfortunately, have them all.
Step #1: Know that Free Support Groups Can Help You
Please make sure that you look at both websites for a postpartum support group. If your location isn't listed on one site, it may be listed on the other.
Postpartum Support International
PPD Support
Robyn's Nest
I personally am involved with Baby Blues Connection in Oregon. We have an amazing group of staff and volunteers who screen resources, provide emotional support via telephone, email, and in person, and are constantly learning new information about postpartum and antepartum disorders. I urge you to visit the http://www.babybluesconnection.org for more information if you think that you are a loved one is suffering from postpartum or antepartum depression, anxiety, or psychosis.
Postpartum Blues
The Bad News: Baby blues end within the first 2 or 3 weeks and includes symptoms like:
Mood swings
Crying (with or without a reason)
Sadness
Anxiety
Lack of concentration
Impatience
Irritability
Restlessness / hyperactiv ity
Feeling you need to be cared for
Feeling vulnerable
The Good News: Baby blues occur in about 80 percent of all mothers and is not considered a disorder. It will go away on its own. If you still have postpartum blues after 3 weeks, it may be depression.
How Your Family Can Help:
Give her a shoulder to cry on
Take over the chores
Give her a massage every night
Jump up at every chance to change a diaper or give a feeding (unless she insists that she wants to do it)
Make sure she gets at least one hour alone every day to do something for herself (if you have multiple kids, she may need to leave the house to be alone since kids tend to follow Mom into every room of the house, and you can't bother her either)
Tell her you love her frequently ( and be sure to elaborate on how much you love her)
Brush her hair for at least 5 minutes (it's very relaxing)
Listen to her joys and complaints
Talk to her about non-baby stuff that she's interested in (not just stuff that you're interested in)
Go ga-ga over the baby ( even if you don't feel a bond yet) and thank her for bringing this child into the world, never tell her she is doing a bad job or point out mistakes
Don't go out with the boys (or anyone else) unless she is also getting equal time out with friends
Don't drink alcohol (it impairs your ability to keep your mouth shut when you need to)
Don't smoke anywhere near the kids (especially the baby) or play loud music (both can harm your baby, and doing them is selfish and will surely be met with resentment and an argument)
Bring home a meal (always find out if she has already started making the meal because if she has and you bring som ething else home, she'll probably cry)
Buy her some ultra comfortable clothes and some attractive but comfortable pajamas that are nice enough to wear in front of unexpected company
Don't you dare ask for sex but do be romantic
Hug her frequently
Gently stroke her face and neck
Hold her hand
Rent comedies and watch her "woman shows" (like Oprah) with her (even if you hate them)
Read books about how to be a good parent and taking care of babies in front of her
Postpartum Depression / Anxiety
The Bad News: Postpartum depression can occur at any time within the first year. You may start off having anxiety, but the anxiety may lead into depression. Likewise, you may start off with depression, which may lead into anxiety. Some symptoms are present in both anxiety and depression. Thus, I tie these two disorders together, but it is quite possible to have just symptoms of depression or just symptoms of anxiety. Symptoms may start immediately after birth (but are often mistakenly assumed to be baby blues by many healthcare workers) or they may start gradually and build up over time:
Fatigue (easily getting exhausted or just feeling sluggish or feeling like you need to sleep more)
Insomnia
Changes in appetite (feeling like you need to eat more or not being hungry when you should be)
Poor concentration (easily distracted or confused)
Difficulty making decisions (even simple ones)
Difficulty in solving problems (even simple ones)
Difficulty in completing everyday tasks
Forgetfulness or memory loss
Mood swings (often extreme)
Sadness
Hopelessness (feeling trapped or stuck in an unhappy situation)
Crying (with or without a reason, sometimes uncontrollably)
Thoughts of suicide or running away
Thinking that maybe you made a mistake in having the baby
Irritability (short temper)
Anger (can be difficult to control)
Resentment
Feeling like everything is your responsibility
Feeling overwhelmed or can't cope
Feeling guilty or ashamed about making mistakes, not being the wife or mother you expected to be, or even about things that aren't your fault or have nothing to do with you
Feeling like you aren't good enough, inadequate, or worthless
Lack of interest or motivation (even in things you used to enjoy doing)
Decreased or absent sex drive
Excessive concern about the baby (worried that something bad could happen to the baby)
Feeling like you can't bond with your baby or have lost a bond with your older children
Lack of interest in the baby or not wanting to take care of the baby
Avoiding the baby or other children (often because being close to the baby or other children makes you feel uncomfortable)
Fear of accidentally harming the baby, your other children, or yourself
Fear of going crazy and harming the baby, your other children, or yourself
Fear of sexually abusing your baby or other children when you have no history or intentions of doing so
Fear of other people (including your loved ones) hurting or sexually abusing the baby or your other children (usually you rationally know that the individual isn't hurting or abusing your child, but there's that little "what if" voice that keeps popping up in your head)
The Good News: Postpartum depression can be treated.
First, find a support group for postpartum depression (not just a new mommy group). Online groups are okay to start with, but you really need interaction with humans in the real world. Groups are usually free, and you don't have to talk if you don't want to. You can just listen to what others have to say. You'll probably be quite surprised and comforted to find out that there are other women with the exact same symptoms as you. It really does help you to feel more normal. (In my group sessions, I was amazed at how similar our stories were, and prior to group, I was convinced that I was the only one going through this, like I was "worse than the typical postpartum case." I was even worried that I wasn't sick enough and that I would be faced with a group of women who thought I was weak because I wasn't nearly as bad as the rest of them and couldn't cope, but neither scenario happened to any woman who joined the group. It was all wonderfully supportive.) Look in your phone book, do a search on the Internet, or ask local doctors, nurses, and psychologists for group information.
Then, go to your doctor. Get checked out to make sure you don't have some other problem contributing to your symptoms, like a thyroid disorder or anemia. Find a therapist. Your support group can usually help you find one who specializes in postpartum disorders. If you feel that your therapist doesn't understand your situation (and some of them don't), don't hesitate to switch therapists (and don't feel guilty about it either; it's not your fault that the therapist didn't bother to specialize in your disorder).
If you feel that you aren't making satisfactory progress with psychological therapy alone, consider going to your doctor or finding a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication and getting on an anti-depressant. If you are breastfeeding, do some research on the Internet and talk to
your doctor and your child's pediatrician about what medications are safest, and start with those (I ended up on Zoloft, and it did help turn down the volume on my symptoms enough to help me help myself through therapy, but it didn't cure me, and there are nasty withdrawal effects that can last for months).
Talk to people. Do not isolate yourself from the world. Let yourself be vulnerable. Tell your neighbor how you feel or what you're thinking. Tell your friends and family members. Talk to people in your churches, schools, and at work. Just keep talking to people. Eventually, you will find somebody who understands and can help.
How Your Family Can Help: Do all of the things listed under "Postpartum Blues" plus:
Assure her that she's a good mother (and be sincere, point out examples of why she's a good mother, and don't wait until she's doing the "I'm a horrible mom" cry; say it even when she's smiling)
Remind her that it's her body chemistry that's the problem, not her
Remind her that what she's going through is common and that it's too bad that more women don't talk about it
Gently tell her about the stresses and worries you have now that you're a parent, but don't say it in a way that accuses her or makes you the victim (just let her know that she's not alone without saying something like "You're not the only one suffering here" because she'll begin to feel guilty about her feelings)
Be very forgiving of any angry outbursts (you don't have to sit there and take it, but you do need to remember that it's not her fault)
Don't tell her that she's going stupid because her brain doesn't work the way it used to (just pretend you didn't notice that she made a mistake)
Make sure she has some time to just sit with the baby (no television or distractions) and interact with the new family addition, especially if she is having bonding issues
Keep critics away (old er family members with the "get over it" attitude tend to be the worst, so answer the phone, read the mail, and answer the door before the new mommy does, so you can intercept critics, send them on their way, or quietly remind them not to discuss parenting issues or give advice because she's ultra sensitive at the moment, and immediately interrupt critics if they are in the process of criticizing then try to change the subject of the conversation or make a "we have to get going" excuse)
Keep stimulation to a minimum (background noise, television, a busy schedule, and so forth are all forms of stimulation) because she could end up with stimulation overload which leads to a meltdown
Make sure she gets frequent breaks during which she can be totally alone (at least 5 minutes at a time throughout the day)
Encourage her to join a support group and see a therapist
DO NOT let her become isolated or withdrawn; continue to reach out to her and find other people who can also reach out to her and talk to her frequently
Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
The Bad News: Postpartum OCD is horrifying for many women who have it while others just find it inconvenient depending on what obsessions they have. Postpartum OCD stems from anxiety and is usually a result of the mother's natural protective instincts going out of control. It may lead to depression or other anxiety disorders. Your brain starts to show you every horrible thing that could possibly happen to your child. The images are often horrendous and disgusting. There are actually three types of OCD: traditional OCD (having obsessive thoughts which lead you to do various activities called compulsions), pure obsessive disorder (having intrusive, persistent thoughts without compulsions), and responsibility OCD (in which the individual believes that by not carrying out a compulsion, something bad will happen to other people, leading to a sense of guilt). It is also often accompanied by postpartum depression and anxiety. Symptoms include:
Intrusive thoughts or mental images (thoughts that just seem to pop up out of nowhere) that are often about the baby, yourself, or your other loved ones, that are disturbing; you often feel guilty, horrified, or disgusted by these thoughts. They may be irrational or seem perfectly logical. (VERY IMPORTANT: YOU MUST SEEK HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOTHERAPIST AND MEDICAL DOCTOR IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. Intrusive thoughts require treatment.)
Obsessing about worries or fears (often worries that you may go crazy or that you may actually carry out some of the horrible intrusive thoughts you've had) so much that they seem to take over your life (much more than in standard depression/anxiety) and may eventually lead to compulsive behavior.
Compulsive behaviors (such as hiding knives because seeing knives reminds you of or creates intrusive thoughts about stabbing the baby, yourself, or another loved one; refusing to give your baby a bath without supervision because you fear you may drown your baby, cleaning excessively so your baby doesn't get sick, checking to make sure your baby is in the backseat of the car in the car seat because you fear you may forget him somewhere, checking seatbelts in car seats repeatedly (even pulling over repeatedly to do so) to make sure they are fast ened correctly, so your baby doesn't fly out during a quick stop or an accident, avoiding the baby so you won't hurt her, constantly trying to keep things in perfect order or organized because you somehow feel that if you can just get organized you can get relief, etc.)
The Good News: Postpartum OCD can be treated using the same methods as postpartum depression and anxiety.
Postpartum OCD does not lead to hurting or killing your child. It does not lead to postpartum psychosis. It can, however, be accompanied by psychosis, so it is very, VERY important that you talk to a professional psychotherapist to determine whether those thoughts are the intrusive thoughts of OCD and the intrusive thoughts of psychosis.
Also, have an open dialogue with your loved ones and partner about the thoughts you are having. Always tell them what you intend to do or if you have any of your thoughts disturb you, even if you think they may reject you for having those thoughts or compulsions. It may seem strange to tell your spouse, "I'm going to check the locks again," but if you get into the habit of doing it, it will actually help you feel more in control by having another person validate your feelings or keep them in check until you can do it yourself.
Take a deep breath. Relax. And, the next time you have an intrusive thought, remind yourself, "It's just the OCD. My brain is just trying to protect my child from everything, including myself, by showing things that potentially could happen, but these things won't happen. These horrible things aren't going to happen because I recognize that they are horrible. If I wasn't disturbed by them, then I would have something to worry about because I would be psychotic, but as long as I recognize that these thoughts are disturbing, they won't happen because I'm still sane, and I will continue to be sane. Postpartum psychosis shows up very quickly after the birth (within a few days), and I'm already past that, so I'm in the clear. I just need to accept that my brain is going to show me some of these thoughts for awhile, so it can quickly pass, and I can go on with my day, enjoying my child and my life."
It may take a few times before you start to believe any of this little paragraph of self-talk (and you may need to write it down on an index card that you carry with you for quick reference, maybe put a note on the back of your hand in ink that says "card" to remind you to look at it when you start having an intrusive thought), but eventually it will become a mantra that you memorize and will automatically pop into your head with every intrusive thought, quickly letting the thought pass on without making you feel like a horrible person. Instead of thinking "how could I think that" you'll begin to think "that darn OCD is doing it again," helping you get past some of the guilt and worry that can just make things worse. Always make sure that you talk to somebody about your thoughts or at least write them down.
Don't stress out about your compulsions. Logically you may realize that what you are doing doesn't make sense ("I know that my hands were clean of germs after the first time I washed them, so I don't need to wash them three times."), but your just don't feel the results you are looking for. The compulsions are like a high. They make you feel better while you're doing them or immediately after you've done them, but eventually (sometimes very soon afterward), that security and relief you felt is replaced by anxiety, and you have to repeat the compulsion to get that feeling of relief again. Feel free to laugh at them rather than be embarrassed by them. ("Isn't it that silly. I just finished washing my hands and now I'm doing it again."). After all, it's not going to hurt you. It's just annoying, but take peace in knowing that eventually the anxiety will go away, and you will be able to feel relief again without your compulsions.
How Your Family Can Help:
Do all of the things listed under "Postpartum Blues" and "Postpartum Depression/Anxiety" plus:
Don't say "how could you ...," "why are you ...," or any other such questions related to the disorder (she doesn't know the answer and it will just make her feel guilty)
Remind her that it's just the disorder
Indulge in her compulsions (keep the kitchen spotless, check the door to make sure that it's locked ten times, babyproof the house, hide the knives, etc.)
Postpartum Panic Disorder
The Bad News: A panic attack makes you feel like you're dying or going crazy. You may start off by going to the hospital or calling your doctor, convinced that you are having a heart attack or that you have a brain tumor or something, only to hear that you are having a panic attack, which makes you feel like a loony. Panic attacks can be so awful that you may eventually start to avoid situations in which you fear you will have a panic attack (such as alone, with social groups, in your car, at school, at work, at home, with your kids, without your spouse, etc.). Panic attacks may even wake you up from a sound sleep. The worst part is not knowing what is causing the panic attack, so you can't remove the stimulus. Panic disorder may occur along with or lead into depression or other anxiety disorders. Symptoms include:
Shortness of breath / difficulty breathing / can't inhale deeply enough or get enough air
Feeling like your choking or your throat is closing up
Hyperventilating
Chest pain and/or pain in other areas of the body (including arms and headaches)
Dizziness
Feeling like you're going to pass out or are suddenly sleepy
Trembling
Numbness
Tingling
Rapid heart beat
Palpitations
Nausea
Feeling like your stomach is in knots
Urge to urinate or defecate
Sweats
Hot flashes
Chills
Feeling like things are unreal (like you're dreaming, out of your body, dying, or going crazy)
Feeling like something bad is going to happen (but you may not know what)
The Good News: You're not dying! You're not going crazy! You're not having a heart attack! It can be treated.
Of course, you should always see your doctor immediately after you have your first panic attack, so you can get checked out to make sure that it isn't something more serious. Plus, your doctor can prescribe medication that may reduce or eliminate future panic attacks.
Panic attacks require you to sit back and go for the ride, reassuring yourself all the while that it will soon be over with. Try to distract yourself. The best thing you can do is go for a walk. Exercise will help you metabolize some of the adrenaline that is causing your symptoms and increases your serotonin levels. Plus, exercise can help reassure you that you aren't dying or going crazy because your symptoms will often decrease in intensity while you exercise (if you're having a heart attack they'll get worse), so as you walk and your symptoms decrease you can take comfort in knowing that you aren't going to die from your panic attack as if it were a heart attack.
Some people take tranquilizers to help them calm down. Others use sedatives and just sleep through the panic attack.
For some people, panic attacks are strictly chemical, but for most people panic attacks are caused by a combination of chemical imbalances and stress or anxiety. Sometimes the stress and anxiety are obvious (like having a new baby and trying to be a parent), but sometimes it can be something deep seated from your past.
Take the same steps as you would for treating postpartum depression and find a therapist who has experience treating panic attacks.
(It really is surprising to find out how many people have panic attacks. Don't be afraid to talk about it with people, and you'll be amazed at how many people say "me too.")
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
The Bad News: Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) occurs when a traumatic event gets "burned" into your mind, and the memory gets played over and over again, often accompanied by feelings of anxiety, dread, or sadness. The traumatic event may be the delivery of the baby, complications of the pregnancy or delivery, or anything else that is "traumatic" like a natural disaster, violence, etc. Sometimes the birth itself will be the event, and sometimes the birth will simply trigger memories of a previous traumatic event that may be completely unrelated to the birth. PTSD may be accompanied by or lead into depression and other anxiety disorders, including panic disorder and OCD. Symptoms include:
Replaying scenes or images of the event repeatedly in your mind
Avoiding anything that triggers the replaying of the event
Nightmares about the event
Consciously avoiding sleep or subconsciously (insomnia) to keep from having nightmares about the event
Subconsciously blocking out aspects of the event from your memory
Actively trying to forget the event
Exaggerated startle response
Feeling guilty about the event happening at all
Feeling guilty about being traumatized by the event
The Good News: Post traumatic stress disorder after delivery can be treated using the same methods used to treat postpartum depression and anxiety. Working with a therapist trained in PTSD and joining a support group are extremely important for the recovery process.
It's especially important for you to recognize the traumatic event as it was, including all of the good and all of the bad. You need to allow yourself to fully experience the event, including all of the grief and feelings of helplessness that surround such events. Once you acknowledge and accept the event for what it was, it becomes easier to let go of the trauma.
Postpartum Psychosis
The Bad News: 5% of women with postpartum psychosis commit suicide. 4% kill their babies. This is as bad as it gets and requires immediate hospitalization. A woman with postpartum psychosis won't realize that she has it. She might even insist that she is perfectly fine, that her thoughts are perfectly normal, and that everybody else is crazy. It is important that you have your family and friends aware of this disorder before you give birth because if you end up developing it, they're probably going to be the ones to notice before you do; they may even need to call 911 to have you restrained and taken to the hospital if you aren't cooperative.
If you have a history of bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or any other psychotic episodes, you may be more at risk than the average woman to develop postpartum psychosis, but this doesn't mean that you will develop the disorder. It's just something you should be aware of.
Symptoms usually begin within several days of birth but can appear within the first month and, in very rare cases, within the first three months. Symptoms include:
Hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren't there and thinking that they are real)
Delusions (holding strong beliefs despite evidence to the contrary, such as believing that you are the queen of England when you obviously aren't or that the baby is the devil or even that there are monsters in the closet)
Unstable, unpredictable emotions that may not seem like the appropriate response to a situation
Behaviors that may not seem like the appropriate response to a situation
Disorientation (not knowing where you are)
Confusion
Extreme insomnia
Extreme anxiety
Extreme agitation
Extreme restlessness
Loss of touch with reality (sometimes described as out of body experiences)
The Good News: It can be treated with medication and intensive counseling.
It occurs in only 0.1% of women who give birth, so the chances of you getting it are low.
I've seen articles about postpartum OCD symptoms being called postpartum psychosis. This is quite upsetting to me. In postpartum OCD you have disturbing, intrusive thoughts, but you realize that they aren't real and you recognize that these thoughts are disturbing. In postpartum psychosis, you believe that those thoughts are real or believe that you need to act on them, that they are situations that have actually happened, and/or you aren't disturbed by these thoughts (and in some cases may think that they're a good idea). I've also seen articles that postpartum psychosis and postpartum depression are the same thing (such as when Andrea Yates, who had postpartum psychosis, was labeled as having postpartum depression). Be assured that they are not the same thing, and we hope that the media will one day figure that out.
"I'm OK. I know what I'm doing. I'm prepared. It won't happen to me. I don't
even have a history of any mental or emotional problems, so I'm good."
"Excuse me! I think there was a mix-up. This isn't what I signed up for. You see, I signed up for the smiling family, go ga-ga over your baby, feeling passion for life, super-parent gig. You know what I mean, the happy family stuff they show in all of those diaper and infant formula commercials and talk about in the pregnancy and infant books."
Guess what? It doesn't always work that way.
Important Notes
It is important to realize that just because you don't have every symptom on the list that you aren't suffering from a postpartum disorder. Some women may have just a few symptoms. Some, unfortunately, have them all.
Step #1: Know that Free Support Groups Can Help You
Please make sure that you look at both websites for a postpartum support group. If your location isn't listed on one site, it may be listed on the other.
Postpartum Support International
PPD Support
Robyn's Nest
I personally am involved with Baby Blues Connection in Oregon. We have an amazing group of staff and volunteers who screen resources, provide emotional support via telephone, email, and in person, and are constantly learning new information about postpartum and antepartum disorders. I urge you to visit the http://www.babybluesconnection.org for more information if you think that you are a loved one is suffering from postpartum or antepartum depression, anxiety, or psychosis.
Postpartum Blues
The Bad News: Baby blues end within the first 2 or 3 weeks and includes symptoms like:
Mood swings
Crying (with or without a reason)
Sadness
Anxiety
Lack of concentration
Impatience
Irritability
Restlessness / hyperactiv ity
Feeling you need to be cared for
Feeling vulnerable
The Good News: Baby blues occur in about 80 percent of all mothers and is not considered a disorder. It will go away on its own. If you still have postpartum blues after 3 weeks, it may be depression.
How Your Family Can Help:
Give her a shoulder to cry on
Take over the chores
Give her a massage every night
Jump up at every chance to change a diaper or give a feeding (unless she insists that she wants to do it)
Make sure she gets at least one hour alone every day to do something for herself (if you have multiple kids, she may need to leave the house to be alone since kids tend to follow Mom into every room of the house, and you can't bother her either)
Tell her you love her frequently ( and be sure to elaborate on how much you love her)
Brush her hair for at least 5 minutes (it's very relaxing)
Listen to her joys and complaints
Talk to her about non-baby stuff that she's interested in (not just stuff that you're interested in)
Go ga-ga over the baby ( even if you don't feel a bond yet) and thank her for bringing this child into the world, never tell her she is doing a bad job or point out mistakes
Don't go out with the boys (or anyone else) unless she is also getting equal time out with friends
Don't drink alcohol (it impairs your ability to keep your mouth shut when you need to)
Don't smoke anywhere near the kids (especially the baby) or play loud music (both can harm your baby, and doing them is selfish and will surely be met with resentment and an argument)
Bring home a meal (always find out if she has already started making the meal because if she has and you bring som ething else home, she'll probably cry)
Buy her some ultra comfortable clothes and some attractive but comfortable pajamas that are nice enough to wear in front of unexpected company
Don't you dare ask for sex but do be romantic
Hug her frequently
Gently stroke her face and neck
Hold her hand
Rent comedies and watch her "woman shows" (like Oprah) with her (even if you hate them)
Read books about how to be a good parent and taking care of babies in front of her
Postpartum Depression / Anxiety
The Bad News: Postpartum depression can occur at any time within the first year. You may start off having anxiety, but the anxiety may lead into depression. Likewise, you may start off with depression, which may lead into anxiety. Some symptoms are present in both anxiety and depression. Thus, I tie these two disorders together, but it is quite possible to have just symptoms of depression or just symptoms of anxiety. Symptoms may start immediately after birth (but are often mistakenly assumed to be baby blues by many healthcare workers) or they may start gradually and build up over time:
Fatigue (easily getting exhausted or just feeling sluggish or feeling like you need to sleep more)
Insomnia
Changes in appetite (feeling like you need to eat more or not being hungry when you should be)
Poor concentration (easily distracted or confused)
Difficulty making decisions (even simple ones)
Difficulty in solving problems (even simple ones)
Difficulty in completing everyday tasks
Forgetfulness or memory loss
Mood swings (often extreme)
Sadness
Hopelessness (feeling trapped or stuck in an unhappy situation)
Crying (with or without a reason, sometimes uncontrollably)
Thoughts of suicide or running away
Thinking that maybe you made a mistake in having the baby
Irritability (short temper)
Anger (can be difficult to control)
Resentment
Feeling like everything is your responsibility
Feeling overwhelmed or can't cope
Feeling guilty or ashamed about making mistakes, not being the wife or mother you expected to be, or even about things that aren't your fault or have nothing to do with you
Feeling like you aren't good enough, inadequate, or worthless
Lack of interest or motivation (even in things you used to enjoy doing)
Decreased or absent sex drive
Excessive concern about the baby (worried that something bad could happen to the baby)
Feeling like you can't bond with your baby or have lost a bond with your older children
Lack of interest in the baby or not wanting to take care of the baby
Avoiding the baby or other children (often because being close to the baby or other children makes you feel uncomfortable)
Fear of accidentally harming the baby, your other children, or yourself
Fear of going crazy and harming the baby, your other children, or yourself
Fear of sexually abusing your baby or other children when you have no history or intentions of doing so
Fear of other people (including your loved ones) hurting or sexually abusing the baby or your other children (usually you rationally know that the individual isn't hurting or abusing your child, but there's that little "what if" voice that keeps popping up in your head)
The Good News: Postpartum depression can be treated.
First, find a support group for postpartum depression (not just a new mommy group). Online groups are okay to start with, but you really need interaction with humans in the real world. Groups are usually free, and you don't have to talk if you don't want to. You can just listen to what others have to say. You'll probably be quite surprised and comforted to find out that there are other women with the exact same symptoms as you. It really does help you to feel more normal. (In my group sessions, I was amazed at how similar our stories were, and prior to group, I was convinced that I was the only one going through this, like I was "worse than the typical postpartum case." I was even worried that I wasn't sick enough and that I would be faced with a group of women who thought I was weak because I wasn't nearly as bad as the rest of them and couldn't cope, but neither scenario happened to any woman who joined the group. It was all wonderfully supportive.) Look in your phone book, do a search on the Internet, or ask local doctors, nurses, and psychologists for group information.
Then, go to your doctor. Get checked out to make sure you don't have some other problem contributing to your symptoms, like a thyroid disorder or anemia. Find a therapist. Your support group can usually help you find one who specializes in postpartum disorders. If you feel that your therapist doesn't understand your situation (and some of them don't), don't hesitate to switch therapists (and don't feel guilty about it either; it's not your fault that the therapist didn't bother to specialize in your disorder).
If you feel that you aren't making satisfactory progress with psychological therapy alone, consider going to your doctor or finding a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication and getting on an anti-depressant. If you are breastfeeding, do some research on the Internet and talk to
your doctor and your child's pediatrician about what medications are safest, and start with those (I ended up on Zoloft, and it did help turn down the volume on my symptoms enough to help me help myself through therapy, but it didn't cure me, and there are nasty withdrawal effects that can last for months).
Talk to people. Do not isolate yourself from the world. Let yourself be vulnerable. Tell your neighbor how you feel or what you're thinking. Tell your friends and family members. Talk to people in your churches, schools, and at work. Just keep talking to people. Eventually, you will find somebody who understands and can help.
How Your Family Can Help: Do all of the things listed under "Postpartum Blues" plus:
Assure her that she's a good mother (and be sincere, point out examples of why she's a good mother, and don't wait until she's doing the "I'm a horrible mom" cry; say it even when she's smiling)
Remind her that it's her body chemistry that's the problem, not her
Remind her that what she's going through is common and that it's too bad that more women don't talk about it
Gently tell her about the stresses and worries you have now that you're a parent, but don't say it in a way that accuses her or makes you the victim (just let her know that she's not alone without saying something like "You're not the only one suffering here" because she'll begin to feel guilty about her feelings)
Be very forgiving of any angry outbursts (you don't have to sit there and take it, but you do need to remember that it's not her fault)
Don't tell her that she's going stupid because her brain doesn't work the way it used to (just pretend you didn't notice that she made a mistake)
Make sure she has some time to just sit with the baby (no television or distractions) and interact with the new family addition, especially if she is having bonding issues
Keep critics away (old er family members with the "get over it" attitude tend to be the worst, so answer the phone, read the mail, and answer the door before the new mommy does, so you can intercept critics, send them on their way, or quietly remind them not to discuss parenting issues or give advice because she's ultra sensitive at the moment, and immediately interrupt critics if they are in the process of criticizing then try to change the subject of the conversation or make a "we have to get going" excuse)
Keep stimulation to a minimum (background noise, television, a busy schedule, and so forth are all forms of stimulation) because she could end up with stimulation overload which leads to a meltdown
Make sure she gets frequent breaks during which she can be totally alone (at least 5 minutes at a time throughout the day)
Encourage her to join a support group and see a therapist
DO NOT let her become isolated or withdrawn; continue to reach out to her and find other people who can also reach out to her and talk to her frequently
Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
The Bad News: Postpartum OCD is horrifying for many women who have it while others just find it inconvenient depending on what obsessions they have. Postpartum OCD stems from anxiety and is usually a result of the mother's natural protective instincts going out of control. It may lead to depression or other anxiety disorders. Your brain starts to show you every horrible thing that could possibly happen to your child. The images are often horrendous and disgusting. There are actually three types of OCD: traditional OCD (having obsessive thoughts which lead you to do various activities called compulsions), pure obsessive disorder (having intrusive, persistent thoughts without compulsions), and responsibility OCD (in which the individual believes that by not carrying out a compulsion, something bad will happen to other people, leading to a sense of guilt). It is also often accompanied by postpartum depression and anxiety. Symptoms include:
Intrusive thoughts or mental images (thoughts that just seem to pop up out of nowhere) that are often about the baby, yourself, or your other loved ones, that are disturbing; you often feel guilty, horrified, or disgusted by these thoughts. They may be irrational or seem perfectly logical. (VERY IMPORTANT: YOU MUST SEEK HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOTHERAPIST AND MEDICAL DOCTOR IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. Intrusive thoughts require treatment.)
Obsessing about worries or fears (often worries that you may go crazy or that you may actually carry out some of the horrible intrusive thoughts you've had) so much that they seem to take over your life (much more than in standard depression/anxiety) and may eventually lead to compulsive behavior.
Compulsive behaviors (such as hiding knives because seeing knives reminds you of or creates intrusive thoughts about stabbing the baby, yourself, or another loved one; refusing to give your baby a bath without supervision because you fear you may drown your baby, cleaning excessively so your baby doesn't get sick, checking to make sure your baby is in the backseat of the car in the car seat because you fear you may forget him somewhere, checking seatbelts in car seats repeatedly (even pulling over repeatedly to do so) to make sure they are fast ened correctly, so your baby doesn't fly out during a quick stop or an accident, avoiding the baby so you won't hurt her, constantly trying to keep things in perfect order or organized because you somehow feel that if you can just get organized you can get relief, etc.)
The Good News: Postpartum OCD can be treated using the same methods as postpartum depression and anxiety.
Postpartum OCD does not lead to hurting or killing your child. It does not lead to postpartum psychosis. It can, however, be accompanied by psychosis, so it is very, VERY important that you talk to a professional psychotherapist to determine whether those thoughts are the intrusive thoughts of OCD and the intrusive thoughts of psychosis.
Also, have an open dialogue with your loved ones and partner about the thoughts you are having. Always tell them what you intend to do or if you have any of your thoughts disturb you, even if you think they may reject you for having those thoughts or compulsions. It may seem strange to tell your spouse, "I'm going to check the locks again," but if you get into the habit of doing it, it will actually help you feel more in control by having another person validate your feelings or keep them in check until you can do it yourself.
Take a deep breath. Relax. And, the next time you have an intrusive thought, remind yourself, "It's just the OCD. My brain is just trying to protect my child from everything, including myself, by showing things that potentially could happen, but these things won't happen. These horrible things aren't going to happen because I recognize that they are horrible. If I wasn't disturbed by them, then I would have something to worry about because I would be psychotic, but as long as I recognize that these thoughts are disturbing, they won't happen because I'm still sane, and I will continue to be sane. Postpartum psychosis shows up very quickly after the birth (within a few days), and I'm already past that, so I'm in the clear. I just need to accept that my brain is going to show me some of these thoughts for awhile, so it can quickly pass, and I can go on with my day, enjoying my child and my life."
It may take a few times before you start to believe any of this little paragraph of self-talk (and you may need to write it down on an index card that you carry with you for quick reference, maybe put a note on the back of your hand in ink that says "card" to remind you to look at it when you start having an intrusive thought), but eventually it will become a mantra that you memorize and will automatically pop into your head with every intrusive thought, quickly letting the thought pass on without making you feel like a horrible person. Instead of thinking "how could I think that" you'll begin to think "that darn OCD is doing it again," helping you get past some of the guilt and worry that can just make things worse. Always make sure that you talk to somebody about your thoughts or at least write them down.
Don't stress out about your compulsions. Logically you may realize that what you are doing doesn't make sense ("I know that my hands were clean of germs after the first time I washed them, so I don't need to wash them three times."), but your just don't feel the results you are looking for. The compulsions are like a high. They make you feel better while you're doing them or immediately after you've done them, but eventually (sometimes very soon afterward), that security and relief you felt is replaced by anxiety, and you have to repeat the compulsion to get that feeling of relief again. Feel free to laugh at them rather than be embarrassed by them. ("Isn't it that silly. I just finished washing my hands and now I'm doing it again."). After all, it's not going to hurt you. It's just annoying, but take peace in knowing that eventually the anxiety will go away, and you will be able to feel relief again without your compulsions.
How Your Family Can Help:
Do all of the things listed under "Postpartum Blues" and "Postpartum Depression/Anxiety" plus:
Don't say "how could you ...," "why are you ...," or any other such questions related to the disorder (she doesn't know the answer and it will just make her feel guilty)
Remind her that it's just the disorder
Indulge in her compulsions (keep the kitchen spotless, check the door to make sure that it's locked ten times, babyproof the house, hide the knives, etc.)
Postpartum Panic Disorder
The Bad News: A panic attack makes you feel like you're dying or going crazy. You may start off by going to the hospital or calling your doctor, convinced that you are having a heart attack or that you have a brain tumor or something, only to hear that you are having a panic attack, which makes you feel like a loony. Panic attacks can be so awful that you may eventually start to avoid situations in which you fear you will have a panic attack (such as alone, with social groups, in your car, at school, at work, at home, with your kids, without your spouse, etc.). Panic attacks may even wake you up from a sound sleep. The worst part is not knowing what is causing the panic attack, so you can't remove the stimulus. Panic disorder may occur along with or lead into depression or other anxiety disorders. Symptoms include:
Shortness of breath / difficulty breathing / can't inhale deeply enough or get enough air
Feeling like your choking or your throat is closing up
Hyperventilating
Chest pain and/or pain in other areas of the body (including arms and headaches)
Dizziness
Feeling like you're going to pass out or are suddenly sleepy
Trembling
Numbness
Tingling
Rapid heart beat
Palpitations
Nausea
Feeling like your stomach is in knots
Urge to urinate or defecate
Sweats
Hot flashes
Chills
Feeling like things are unreal (like you're dreaming, out of your body, dying, or going crazy)
Feeling like something bad is going to happen (but you may not know what)
The Good News: You're not dying! You're not going crazy! You're not having a heart attack! It can be treated.
Of course, you should always see your doctor immediately after you have your first panic attack, so you can get checked out to make sure that it isn't something more serious. Plus, your doctor can prescribe medication that may reduce or eliminate future panic attacks.
Panic attacks require you to sit back and go for the ride, reassuring yourself all the while that it will soon be over with. Try to distract yourself. The best thing you can do is go for a walk. Exercise will help you metabolize some of the adrenaline that is causing your symptoms and increases your serotonin levels. Plus, exercise can help reassure you that you aren't dying or going crazy because your symptoms will often decrease in intensity while you exercise (if you're having a heart attack they'll get worse), so as you walk and your symptoms decrease you can take comfort in knowing that you aren't going to die from your panic attack as if it were a heart attack.
Some people take tranquilizers to help them calm down. Others use sedatives and just sleep through the panic attack.
For some people, panic attacks are strictly chemical, but for most people panic attacks are caused by a combination of chemical imbalances and stress or anxiety. Sometimes the stress and anxiety are obvious (like having a new baby and trying to be a parent), but sometimes it can be something deep seated from your past.
Take the same steps as you would for treating postpartum depression and find a therapist who has experience treating panic attacks.
(It really is surprising to find out how many people have panic attacks. Don't be afraid to talk about it with people, and you'll be amazed at how many people say "me too.")
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
The Bad News: Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) occurs when a traumatic event gets "burned" into your mind, and the memory gets played over and over again, often accompanied by feelings of anxiety, dread, or sadness. The traumatic event may be the delivery of the baby, complications of the pregnancy or delivery, or anything else that is "traumatic" like a natural disaster, violence, etc. Sometimes the birth itself will be the event, and sometimes the birth will simply trigger memories of a previous traumatic event that may be completely unrelated to the birth. PTSD may be accompanied by or lead into depression and other anxiety disorders, including panic disorder and OCD. Symptoms include:
Replaying scenes or images of the event repeatedly in your mind
Avoiding anything that triggers the replaying of the event
Nightmares about the event
Consciously avoiding sleep or subconsciously (insomnia) to keep from having nightmares about the event
Subconsciously blocking out aspects of the event from your memory
Actively trying to forget the event
Exaggerated startle response
Feeling guilty about the event happening at all
Feeling guilty about being traumatized by the event
The Good News: Post traumatic stress disorder after delivery can be treated using the same methods used to treat postpartum depression and anxiety. Working with a therapist trained in PTSD and joining a support group are extremely important for the recovery process.
It's especially important for you to recognize the traumatic event as it was, including all of the good and all of the bad. You need to allow yourself to fully experience the event, including all of the grief and feelings of helplessness that surround such events. Once you acknowledge and accept the event for what it was, it becomes easier to let go of the trauma.
Postpartum Psychosis
The Bad News: 5% of women with postpartum psychosis commit suicide. 4% kill their babies. This is as bad as it gets and requires immediate hospitalization. A woman with postpartum psychosis won't realize that she has it. She might even insist that she is perfectly fine, that her thoughts are perfectly normal, and that everybody else is crazy. It is important that you have your family and friends aware of this disorder before you give birth because if you end up developing it, they're probably going to be the ones to notice before you do; they may even need to call 911 to have you restrained and taken to the hospital if you aren't cooperative.
If you have a history of bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or any other psychotic episodes, you may be more at risk than the average woman to develop postpartum psychosis, but this doesn't mean that you will develop the disorder. It's just something you should be aware of.
Symptoms usually begin within several days of birth but can appear within the first month and, in very rare cases, within the first three months. Symptoms include:
Hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren't there and thinking that they are real)
Delusions (holding strong beliefs despite evidence to the contrary, such as believing that you are the queen of England when you obviously aren't or that the baby is the devil or even that there are monsters in the closet)
Unstable, unpredictable emotions that may not seem like the appropriate response to a situation
Behaviors that may not seem like the appropriate response to a situation
Disorientation (not knowing where you are)
Confusion
Extreme insomnia
Extreme anxiety
Extreme agitation
Extreme restlessness
Loss of touch with reality (sometimes described as out of body experiences)
The Good News: It can be treated with medication and intensive counseling.
It occurs in only 0.1% of women who give birth, so the chances of you getting it are low.
I've seen articles about postpartum OCD symptoms being called postpartum psychosis. This is quite upsetting to me. In postpartum OCD you have disturbing, intrusive thoughts, but you realize that they aren't real and you recognize that these thoughts are disturbing. In postpartum psychosis, you believe that those thoughts are real or believe that you need to act on them, that they are situations that have actually happened, and/or you aren't disturbed by these thoughts (and in some cases may think that they're a good idea). I've also seen articles that postpartum psychosis and postpartum depression are the same thing (such as when Andrea Yates, who had postpartum psychosis, was labeled as having postpartum depression). Be assured that they are not the same thing, and we hope that the media will one day figure that out.
What to Expect Postpartum
Women look forward to the birth of their child, but don't realize how hard the first month after the baby's arrival can be. From sleepless nights to the risk of postpartum depression, there are several things that the new mother must know about in order to keep things in perspective.
First a safety note
Infections can develop a few days after your give birth, which is usually when you're back at home. Call your doctor immediately if you develop a fever over 100 degrees F or if you have any of the warning signs in the contents below.
Ooooo, chills
Some people get chills and shivers immediately after delivery. This goes away within a few hours and is more annoying than a concern.
I can't pee!
Immediately after the birth of your baby (and the initial bonding period) you may be asked to urinate. Your urethra will most likely be swelled shut, and a good pee just isn't going to happen for awhile. The problem with this is that your body doesn't stop producing urine, so your bladder just keeps getting fuller and stretching out, which the doctors call distended. If you can't urinate on your own after about eight hours, your doctor may use a catheter to do it for you.
You want me to move after all of that?
You may be asked to get up and walk around even though you're sure that you couldn't take a single step. You need to move a bit soon after birth and throughout your entire healing process to keep from getting blood clots, but don't try to do too much too soon. Notify your doctor if there is any tenderness, swelling, or redness in your legs (or anywhere else, but in the legs is most common) because it could be a sign of a blood clot.
Postpartum Lochia
Women enjoy the fact that they do not have to deal with their monthly menstrual cycle during pregnancy only to be surprised by the postpartum bleeding known as lochia. Locia is the slothing off of the uterus after the birth of a child. It starts out being bright red and then it will turn brownish pink in color then yellow and finally white or clear and with such a light flow you can get away with just wearing a panty liner. It is not uncommon for there to be large clots the first week after giving birth. If clots are still present a week after giving birth, notify a doctor. Do not wear tampons for lochia bleeding. Nothing should be inserted into the vagina until the doctor says that it is OK. Bleeding can last anywhere from a couple weeks to six weeks. Bleeding longer than six weeks or going through one or more pads per hour are warning signs to look out for, and a foul smell can be a sign of infection. Also, not having a discharge of lochia is a bad thing too, and while you're expected to be tired, be aware of any extreme fatigue and paleness or unusual pulse or blood pressure that could be caused by a loss of blood. Notify your doctor immediately if you have any of these warning signs.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck
You're entire body has just endured an incredible task. Every muscle in your body has had an intense workout. You will most likely be achy, stiff, and sore from head to toe. This usually goes away after the first week or two. Ibuprofen is the best pain killer because it's an anti-inflammatory (unlike acetaminophen). Talk to your doctor about medications and dosages (especially if you're breastfeeding), but when I went through this the dosage was two 200 mg pills (400 mg total) every four hours. Believe it or not, walking can help as well. Some of the soreness is caused by a build up of lactic acid in the muscles, and aerobic activity (walking is an aerobic activity) helps to burn up that acid and reduce the pain.
I look like I've been hit by a truck
All of that pushing puts a strain on your entire cardiovascular system, so some blood vessels may pop during delivery. It's typically harmless if you don't have any cardiovascular problems and leaves you with bloodshot eyes and bruises that normally appear on the face but can pop up anywhere.
Postpartum Cramps (afterbirth pains)
After the baby is born, the uterus starts to return to its normal, pear-sized shape. There can be a fair amount of cramping as this happens and it can be quite painful. Breastfeeding can make it worse. Talk to the doctor about any pain medications that are safe to take, especially if the mother is breastfeeding because your body produces oxytocin during feedings which stimulates the contractions. Ibuprofen works well for this. It can last up to six weeks.
I'm so exhausted
Why wouldn't you be exhausted after everything that you just went through? Get lots of rest. Sleep whenever the baby sleeps because you won't get a chance while she's awake. (Ok, maybe take a shower during one of the naps, but ignore the messy house and sleep, or at least lay down.) If you're in a hospital, sleep may be more difficult because people keep coming in to check your vitals as well as your baby's, but all of that is necessary to ensure that you or your baby don't develop an infection or have any other complications.
Postpartum Hemorrhoids
If you didn't get them during your pregnancy, that doesn't mean you're out of the clear. According to aFamilyDoctor.orgarticle entitled "Hemorrhoids: Reducing the Pain and Discomfort," hemorrhoids can come from the "strain from carrying the baby and from giving birth." Before leaving the hospital, ask the doctor for a stool softener to help make having a bowel movement easier. Be sure to eat plenty of fiber and drink a lot of water to ward off constipation, which can make hemorrhoids worse.
If they become bothersome, take a cotton pad and soak it with witch hazel which is the main ingredient in most over the counter hemorrhoid medications. Place the cotton pad where the hemorrhoids are and leave it there for 30 minutes or so. Also, using a donut seat or the boppy that was bought for the baby to sit on will help.
Constipation?
Yes, yet again you may become constipated. Eat those prunes and lots of fiber. Don't forget to drink lots of water. Moving around can help too. And take those stool softeners!
Excuse me
Along with constipation is gassiness. This will also work itself out, but try to eat small frequent meals and avoid gas producing foods in the meantime.
Hey look! The room is spinning
Changes in blood volume may cause you to get dizzy and light headed. Get up and down slowly, and try to find things to grab onto for balance if necessary.
Oh, my boobies are killing me!!!
Fortunately the pain isn't immediate, but it will happen whether or not you breastfeed. If you don't breastfeed, your breasts will become engorged, and you'll need to use ice packs and pain killers until your body realizes that you aren't going to breastfeed. Just don't express the milk because your body will just make more milk. If you do breastfeed, you'll probably be focused on the nipple pain caused be the frequent sucking of your baby (that pain will go away as your nipples toughen up, usually about a week or two). Plus, when your milk comes in, usually around day 3-6 after giving birth, your body won't really know exactly how much to produce, so chances are it will produce too much, and you'll become engorged. Feeding the baby takes care of that problem. Whether or not you breastfeed, you need to be aware of any warm, tender, or red areas on your breast which may be a sign of infection.
Now I can't stop peeing!
So you finally got to urinate after delivery, and now you can't stop. Your body has been retaining fluid, and now it's time to let it all out. Once again it's time to play "I must be within 50 feet of a bathroom at all times." This goes away after a couple of weeks. Keep drinking your water.
Laugh, sneeze, cough, and dribble
Along with frequent peeing, you may also experience incontinence because your bladder muscles are in a bit of shock after the ordeal and while everything starts moving back into place. Wear a panty liner. If you have a lot of urine leakage, you may need to start investing in incontinence pads. Talk to your doctor about it if it doesn't go away by the end of the normal recovery period. Unfortunately, some women never get their normal bladder control back, but have hope because many do. Start doing your kegels again!
Is it hot in here?
Another way that your body tries to get rid of excess water is by sweating, so don't be surprised if you suddenly have episodes of sweating or hot flashes. Have a fan handy.
Help! I'm going bald
No, you won't go bald, but you will lose some hair. While you're pregnant the amount of hair you shed daily normally is reduced due to hormones. After the delivery of your baby, those hormonal balances resume and your body starts shedding hair again. It may seem like a lot, but I promise you won't go bald. Maybe invest in a new haircut to hide problem spots or get some rockin bangs!
No Postpartum Sex
Sexual intercourse should not resume until after the postpartum six weeks check up. One reason is that the vagina needs time to recover from the birth, plus you are at more risk for infection. Another reason is that it is possible to get pregnant during that time. At the check-up, the doctor will be able to help a couple decide on a birth control method and check to see if the woman is ready to resume sexual relations.
Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression
It is not uncommon for a new mom to feel happy one moment and then weepy the next. Many women experience the baby blues, but according to the Mayo Clinic in the article "Postpartum Depression: Symtoms," about 10 percent of new moms will develop postpartum depression.
The Mayo Clinic says that mood swings, anxiety, sadness, irritability, crying, and decreased concentration are all symptoms of the baby blues and they usually only last a few days to a couple of weeks. For postpartum depression, however, a woman may have insomnia, intense anger, overwhelming fatigue, lack of joy in life, loss of appetite, feelings of shame, problems bonding with her child, withdrawing from loved ones, and they may have thoughts of harming the baby or themselves.
If a new mom is suspected of having postpartum depression, she must seek help immediately. There are treatments for postpartum depression and no woman should spend what is suppose to be one of the happiest times of her life locked in the grips of a treatable condition.
Just remember that postpartum bleeding and cramps are normal, just check with the doctor if it seems excessive after two weeks. Treat hemorrhoids if they apperar. Avoid postpartum sex until the doctor gives approval and a birth control method is in place and pay attention to postpartum emotions. It is ok to be a little weepy the first few weeks after baby arrives, but make sure it does not develop into full blown depression.
Postpartum Supplies: What should you get?
Most, if not all, moms spend their pregnancy daydreaming of the day their little one will arrive and how life will be with the newest addition. They plan for the labor and birth and what to pack in the hospital bag and what to have ready for baby, but have you given thought to what YOU need after you get home from the hospital? I have come up with a list of items that you may find helpful to have for your postpartum care:
-Herbal sitz bath or spray
-Soak thickKotexpads(NEVER TAMPONS)inwitch hazeland have them in the freezer to help after (keep in mind most witch hazel you find at super markets and drugstores contain 14% alcohol which can actually cause you more burning pain after birth. I suggest buying fromThayers.comdirectly where the alcohol content is much lower)
-Sanitary napkins for when bleeding is lighter
-Consider encapsulating your placenta to help with helping the uterus shrink back, baby blues or postpartum depression
-Belly binding
-Nursing pads
-Cooking ahead of time to give you a break while you recover
-Have a water bottle handy at all times because you will be very thirsty with all the water you are losing (especially if nursing)
-Pain killers. Your Dr may prescribe you a pain kill but if not or if you run out you may want to have Extra Strength Tylenol or Motrin on hand
-Nursing Tanks/Bras
-Mothers Milk Tea to help with milk production
-Lanolin Breast Creamfor sore nipples
-Breast pump. This one is a maybe depending on your plans after you have had the baby or if you plan to store or increase your milk. (keep in mind you don't have to buy, you can rent. But be sure to get a hospital grade pump)
-Iron Supplements (To replenish iron stores lost during the birth. Some iron supplements can cause constipation, which should be avoided after birth, so be sure to combine any supplements with fiber-rich foods and fluids.)
Things you should have that you will probably get at the hospital
-Numbing spray for the perineum
-A peri bottle to help with going pee so that it doesn't burn
-STOOL SOFTENER... (note that this doesn't make you go. It makes it much less painful.) If your hospital supply runs out be sure to get some at your local pharmacy
-Mesh panties (one size fits all). They are great so that you don't ruin good underwear.
-Perineal ice packs
I found this site that has many items for postpartum care. The whole site is great so browse around.
http://www.supportedbirthazstore.com/servlet/the-Birth-Supplies-cln-Postpartum/Categories
About witch hazel for postpartum care
If you've had stitches or tears, they will hurt while they're healing. Whatever you do, don't wipe over your stitches! Wiping over your stitches is just painful. Don't even think about doing it. You can gently (very gently) blot your stitches dry after cleaning yourself with water. Witch hazel pads can help cut down the sting, but remember to blot instead of wipe. You can also put witch hazel pads directly on your sanitary pad.
Witch hazel is an inexpensive and safe choice for proper perineal care.
-Herbal sitz bath or spray
-Soak thickKotexpads(NEVER TAMPONS)inwitch hazeland have them in the freezer to help after (keep in mind most witch hazel you find at super markets and drugstores contain 14% alcohol which can actually cause you more burning pain after birth. I suggest buying fromThayers.comdirectly where the alcohol content is much lower)
-Sanitary napkins for when bleeding is lighter
-Consider encapsulating your placenta to help with helping the uterus shrink back, baby blues or postpartum depression
-Belly binding
-Nursing pads
-Cooking ahead of time to give you a break while you recover
-Have a water bottle handy at all times because you will be very thirsty with all the water you are losing (especially if nursing)
-Pain killers. Your Dr may prescribe you a pain kill but if not or if you run out you may want to have Extra Strength Tylenol or Motrin on hand
-Nursing Tanks/Bras
-Mothers Milk Tea to help with milk production
-Lanolin Breast Creamfor sore nipples
-Breast pump. This one is a maybe depending on your plans after you have had the baby or if you plan to store or increase your milk. (keep in mind you don't have to buy, you can rent. But be sure to get a hospital grade pump)
-Iron Supplements (To replenish iron stores lost during the birth. Some iron supplements can cause constipation, which should be avoided after birth, so be sure to combine any supplements with fiber-rich foods and fluids.)
Things you should have that you will probably get at the hospital
-Numbing spray for the perineum
-A peri bottle to help with going pee so that it doesn't burn
-STOOL SOFTENER... (note that this doesn't make you go. It makes it much less painful.) If your hospital supply runs out be sure to get some at your local pharmacy
-Mesh panties (one size fits all). They are great so that you don't ruin good underwear.
-Perineal ice packs
I found this site that has many items for postpartum care. The whole site is great so browse around.
http://www.supportedbirthazstore.com/servlet/the-Birth-Supplies-cln-Postpartum/Categories
About witch hazel for postpartum care
If you've had stitches or tears, they will hurt while they're healing. Whatever you do, don't wipe over your stitches! Wiping over your stitches is just painful. Don't even think about doing it. You can gently (very gently) blot your stitches dry after cleaning yourself with water. Witch hazel pads can help cut down the sting, but remember to blot instead of wipe. You can also put witch hazel pads directly on your sanitary pad.
Witch hazel is an inexpensive and safe choice for proper perineal care.
Midwifery Todaynotes that witch hazel can be safely applied directly to the perineum or you can try soaking a cloth in cold water, wringing it out thoroughly and putting witch hazel on it before applying to the perineum.The Mayo Clinicagrees that witch hazel is a safe perineum treatment and suggests placing chilled witch hazel pads on your perineum to aid in the soothing and healing process.
Instead of a commercial peri-care spray you can also simply fill a little spray bottle with witch hazel and spray away. This spray is a healing and safer choice than many store bought sprays.
After you use the bathroom grab that postpartum vaginal perineal bottle the hospital or your midwife gave you. Fill the bottle with warm water and a dash of witch hazel - squirt onto your perineal area to cleanse and help reduce swelling.
Witch hazel pads and sprays can also be used to help treat and soothpostnatal hemorrhoidsas well. Follow the directions above except apply pads and sprays to the hemorrhoids.
WHERE TO GET WITCH HAZEL:
Many commercial witch hazel products contain more alcohol than witch hazel so you need to be careful when choosing a witch hazel product. Good options include…
Witch Hazel Extractfrom Mountain Rose Herbs. This line of witch hazel has been double distilled in only a 14% alcohol base.
Thayers Original Witch Hazel w/Aloe Vera Astringent Pads- Thayers witch hazel products are all made with non-distilled witch hazel extract.(HIGHLY RECOMMEND)
100% Certified Organic Witch Hazel Hydrosol- hand harvested and steam distilled from USDA Certified Wild Crops Forest. Made with simply fresh leaves, twigs and bark
Starwest Botanicals Witch Hazel Extractis a clear, colorless distillate prepared from recently cut and partially dried dormant witch hazel twigs - containing natural oils and 14% alcohol.
NOTE:No matter what perineal care products or treatments you try, always contact your midwife or doctor right away if the pain in this area intensifies, if the area feels very hot, overly swollen or you have pus-like discharge. All of the above may indicate an infection that require immediate treatment.
BONUS TREAT:I know all this talk of hemorrhoids and peri care is not the most fun. With that in mind why not make a treat with witch hazel? Try this superHomemade Organic & Refreshing Herbal Facial Toner recipe.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Breastfeeding Supplies At A Discount
If you have pumped your milk before you will know that the supplies are NOT cheap. It's suggested that you don't buy used pumps or accessories because of others milk (or bodily fulids) coming in contact with with the parts. What they dont tell you is that you can replace most if not all of those parts that another mothers milk comes into contact with. I found a couple of websites that offer replacement parts and just parts and accessories in general for very affordable costs.
http://www.mybreastpump.com/Medelapumpinstylepage.html
I have found that above link to be great for replacement parts when say you buy a used pump on craigslist or through another forum or family member.
I also love this link:
http://www.elitebreastfeeding.com/
She is a certified lactation consultant, so she knows how to actually use what she is selling, and she offers fantastic support for any moms having a hard time nursing/ pumping on her 'Resources' tab. Her ebay store has fantastic affordable items as well. Check it out here:http://stores.ebay.com/Elite-Breastfeeding-SuppliesI have personally bought from her ebay store and highly recommend her. She has great communication with her buyers, super fast and affordable shipping, she is very knowledgeable about what you need and dont need. So she wont be one to sell you something you dont need. She has fantastic supplimentation products to avoid nipple confusion, great herbal remedies to help increase milk and one more added bonus is that she is a work at home mom so by buying from her you are supporting her and her kids (instead of some big corporation that already has millions of dollars). She is here locally in Southern California. Specifically in Corona and she is willing to have (on a case by case basis because we all know there are crazies out there) people come for a local pick up to save on shipping. This is also a fantastic option when purchasing nursing bras (which by the way she sells fantastic ones!) because we all know how much our bodies change when pregnant. She allows you to try them on and see what actually fits once your milk comes in, instead of shipping back and forth and delaying you being comfortable in your new bra. Anyway, check out the links, Im sure you will love them as much as I do.
http://www.mybreastpump.com/Medelapumpinstylepage.html
I have found that above link to be great for replacement parts when say you buy a used pump on craigslist or through another forum or family member.
I also love this link:
http://www.elitebreastfeeding.com/
She is a certified lactation consultant, so she knows how to actually use what she is selling, and she offers fantastic support for any moms having a hard time nursing/ pumping on her 'Resources' tab. Her ebay store has fantastic affordable items as well. Check it out here:http://stores.ebay.com/Elite-Breastfeeding-SuppliesI have personally bought from her ebay store and highly recommend her. She has great communication with her buyers, super fast and affordable shipping, she is very knowledgeable about what you need and dont need. So she wont be one to sell you something you dont need. She has fantastic supplimentation products to avoid nipple confusion, great herbal remedies to help increase milk and one more added bonus is that she is a work at home mom so by buying from her you are supporting her and her kids (instead of some big corporation that already has millions of dollars). She is here locally in Southern California. Specifically in Corona and she is willing to have (on a case by case basis because we all know there are crazies out there) people come for a local pick up to save on shipping. This is also a fantastic option when purchasing nursing bras (which by the way she sells fantastic ones!) because we all know how much our bodies change when pregnant. She allows you to try them on and see what actually fits once your milk comes in, instead of shipping back and forth and delaying you being comfortable in your new bra. Anyway, check out the links, Im sure you will love them as much as I do.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
National Stillbirth Society
Now I know pregnancy is a happy time filled with such hope and dreams for your little one and no one wants to bring you down or scare you with talk of stillbirth. But the truth of the matter is stillbirth is a real problem and can happen to anyone. It happened to me. I came across this article which breaks down how big of a problem stillbirth is and why isn't anything being done about it.
That's why I think its important to share this new site I came across to get the facts out there about stillbirth and how you can check for any warning signs of fetal distress.http://www.stillnomore.org/main.htm. This site has a wealth of information for those that have had a loss and those that have not and want to take every precaution they do not become a statistic as well.
My favorite pages in this site are the following:
http://www.stillnomore.org/goals.htm- This link shows the sites 10 specific goals including
1. Public Awareness - awareness of S.A.D.S. (sudden antenatal Death Syndrome)
2. Stillbirth Certificates - because moms of stillborn babies are still moms
3. Uniform Protocols - so that we can collect data from stillborn babies to help prevent it in the future
4. Manage Pregnancy - this is to better detect possible problems
5. Home Monitoring - fetal death is a process which can take up to several hours, so if a problem is detected early on you could save your baby's life
6. Specialty Clinics - again this is to enhance early detection of possible problems
7. Why Kick Counts - your baby's kicks let you know they are ok
8. Research Center - to further research on these "perfect babies" that die for no apparent reason
9. Organ Donation - a part of us dies when our baby is born still, yet there is a chance for a part of our baby to live on
10. Parent Network - to defeat stillbirth as a group
http://www.stillnomore.org/vianate.htm- I like how they have coined the word "vianate" because to call an infant that is capable of surviving outside the womb on its own a "fetus" is absurd.
http://www.stillnomore.org/facts.htm
http://www.stillnomore.org/main.htm
http://www.stillnomore.org/states.htm
That's why I think its important to share this new site I came across to get the facts out there about stillbirth and how you can check for any warning signs of fetal distress.http://www.stillnomore.org/main.htm. This site has a wealth of information for those that have had a loss and those that have not and want to take every precaution they do not become a statistic as well.
My favorite pages in this site are the following:
http://www.stillnomore.org/goals.htm- This link shows the sites 10 specific goals including
1. Public Awareness - awareness of S.A.D.S. (sudden antenatal Death Syndrome)
2. Stillbirth Certificates - because moms of stillborn babies are still moms
3. Uniform Protocols - so that we can collect data from stillborn babies to help prevent it in the future
4. Manage Pregnancy - this is to better detect possible problems
5. Home Monitoring - fetal death is a process which can take up to several hours, so if a problem is detected early on you could save your baby's life
6. Specialty Clinics - again this is to enhance early detection of possible problems
7. Why Kick Counts - your baby's kicks let you know they are ok
8. Research Center - to further research on these "perfect babies" that die for no apparent reason
9. Organ Donation - a part of us dies when our baby is born still, yet there is a chance for a part of our baby to live on
10. Parent Network - to defeat stillbirth as a group
http://www.stillnomore.org/vianate.htm- I like how they have coined the word "vianate" because to call an infant that is capable of surviving outside the womb on its own a "fetus" is absurd.
http://www.stillnomore.org/facts.htm
http://www.stillnomore.org/main.htm
http://www.stillnomore.org/states.htm
Friday, February 19, 2010
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